There has been so much job movement this month, with many of you getting offers, changing companies, switching roles internally and making other big, bold moves. After what has seemed like a frustrating year for folks in the corporate world, it’s been so rewarding to see progress finally happening.

Yet with every big, bold move comes the grief of what you have to leave behind. That grief stems from uncertainty along with a potential lack of clarity on whether or not it’s really time to leave.

Even if you’re sure of the move you’re making, quitting anxiety is real. It’s tough to get past those feelings of self-doubt. This doubt especially creeps in that moment before you tell your manager and team the news.

Will they take it personally? Will they think you’re disloyal? After all, you just got that raise. They just posted your photo on the company’s LinkedIn page. Are you really and truly finished there? Are you ready to say goodbye to your current workplace? How could you possibly do this to them?

P.S. If you’re new here, I’m Amy, a marketing consultant, journalist, leadership coach, and USA TODAY bestselling author of The Setback Cycle. (Want to work with me? Here’s how.)

When I left my first job at 22, the CEO said to me, “this is a big mistake. I know a lot of people in this industry and you’re making a big mistake.”

This man had me convinced that my career was over only one year into it. I sat at my desk and quietly sobbed for the rest of the day. I was certain I had made the worst decision ever.

I went on to have a twenty year agency career where no one had ever heard of the man who uttered those threatening words.

Once you step outside your little workplace bubble, your entire world expands. People who once seemed to wield so much power over you become irrelevant. They no longer have any influence on any part of your life, let alone your career.

The next time I quit, things were more complicated. I worked at that next agency for seven years. I loved my team, loved my boss, respected the agency’s leadership. But I had remained there for the better part of a decade. I had grown comfortable, complacent. I was coasting. I also knew I had to go make a name for myself at a place where people didn’t know me as the green, eager, junior level employee I had been when I started there. I also needed to prove to myself that I was capable of working somewhere else. But was I really ready to leave?

I bought a box of macarons and went into my boss’s office, bracing for the conversation, still traumatized by that early career experience, and yes, trying to soften the blow with sweets. I was weepy once again but for different reasons. She was sad but understanding and supportive. My coworkers were also sad but equally understanding. I interviewed replacements and felt good about the transition. I had a wonderful goodbye party. I’m still in touch with most of those coworkers now, more than 10 years later. And I ended up working with that boss again. Hard working, talented people always find ways to work together again.

Quitting is difficult, whether you’re ready to get the ef outta there or are struggling with mixed feelings about your decision.

To get through your quitting anxiety and ground yourself in your decision to move on, ask yourself these five questions:

1. What are my overall career (and life) goals and where will I be better positioned to reach them - here or elsewhere?
2. Have I stayed here too long? Have I outgrown this place?
3. Am I holding myself back by staying? Am I afraid of leaving my comfort zone? Of failing?
4. Does the prospect of something new make me a little excited and a little scared?
5. Who am I loyal to now - the old place or a potential new one?

Number five is actually a trick question. You are not loyal to your current, prior or forthcoming place of work. You are loyal to you. That’s why question number one is so important.

Do you want to expand your skills in a way that only a new workplace will allow you to do? Are you trying to pay off student loans or build wealth, and if so, is jumping to another company the only way to increase your compensation in a meaningful way?

Do you feel like you’ve gotten all you can out of your current workplace and know deep down that it’s time to grow up and move on?

How did you answer question number four? If you’re a little excited and scared, that’s one of the biggest indicators that it’s time to move on.

These are not always fun to answer. But if you’re clear on your sense of self, navigating transitions is so much easier. None of this removes the grief of saying goodbye to a workplace and colleagues you adore, but it does ground you if you’re making a move that propels you forward instead of keeping your career stagnant.

And if any small-minded, insignificant person threatens you over your decision to quit, always remember where your true loyalty lies.

In the meantime, here’s what I’m:

Dr Becky’s idea of “Sturdy Parenting” which is actually "Sturdy Leadership" and can apply to both your parenting style and your career. I interviewed her last week and came up with some surprising insights, which I shared in a recent LinkedIn post.

​This Rolling Stone profile of Chappell Roan's complicated rise to fame. If you don’t have time to read the whole article, the first paragraph is very, very good.

The gender pay gap has widened for the first time in 20 years. Couple that with the fact that McKinsey + Lean In's annual state of women in the workplace report showed that investments in women's leadership at corporations has actually decreased since 2017 and it's clear that we have a lot of work to do.

ICYMI, Selena Gomez is the latest woman founder to join the billionaire club.​

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